Get High-Larious

OK. Taking call at the Occupational Med clinic. Its Saturday night. We are open for "emergencies". Young "dude" from a well known Auto Parts Store Chain is here in his work outfit with girl in hand. He is lightedheaded, dizzy and has trouble remembering things. He says its from inhaling some sort of AC fluid vapors he was moving around.

OK. Fair enough. Sounds pretty bad.

So.... I go outside to get something out of the car. Its a nice warm San Fernando Valley summer evening - just starting to cool down from the mid-90's earlier. And as I walk past the couple who are now outside I have to laugh because its High-larious. They are both smoking.

So the questions come quick (but not to judge): what the hell are they smoking? does he think I am smoking the same thing? is smoking a cig considered an inhalation injury? he didn't mention his most obvious symptom: stupidity, why not? was he too high to remember that he suffers from stupidity?

Sadly, we will run some "tests" which will be normal. I won't tell him directly that he is FOS (Full of Shit, Fool on Ship, Farking Obviously Stupid and just wants to get off work for the night so he go get more "lightheaded" with his chick). No, I will be very nice and act as if something is really physically wrong. And the clinic will make 2- 3 hundred bills off this moron.

And people wonder why worker's comp insurance premiums are so high? (These kinds of one time reassurance visits don't add much to the cost in the sysytem, but he just may pursue this claim and become a professional patient paid to not work and take medical tests and exams - these are the ones that place a big burden on the rest of us. But he is young and can still make the career change because it probably looks like a better deal than retail at an auto supply store).